Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
