I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
