well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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