i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
