around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
