"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
