Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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