see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize