I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
