he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
3 2 1 whiskey
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
