I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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