Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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