I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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