Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
