Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
