im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
