So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
