I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can't talk, ducks in the car
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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