I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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