I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
