so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
