Nicole vs. Life
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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