when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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