Having a random hookup so left but love u
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
