I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
