he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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