I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
