my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize