your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This is my gift to your gina
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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