Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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