I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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