I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
