grandma shit on top of the toilet
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
