so that wasnt chicken after all
I cockslap morals
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
