And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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