yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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