I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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