hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
