office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize