Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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