Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
