He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
