In the future we'll all be gay
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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