i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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