I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
