Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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