Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How external is "for external use only"?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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