why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
