Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
