Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
