but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
