Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
