My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
