The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
