If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize