Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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