Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I supernannyed him into submission
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
