Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
