What did we do last night that was yellow?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
