it was like eating out sand paper
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
