i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
