Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
