Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
