beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize
