did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
