porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
