Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize